Be the Heroine of Your Own Story
This is me and my beautiful daughter, Madeline. She reminds me frequently of one of my favorite Nora Ephron quotes,
“Above all, be the heroine in your own story, not the victim.”
In general, she (and this quote) reminds me that we know ourselves better than anyone on this planet and we honor every part, no matter what.
These are our desires, our strengths, our weaknesses, and above all, our truths. There is an understanding that is created with this beautiful mixture of strength and weakness that strips away the fear and removes all barriers.
Within this state of mind, we recognize that our weaknesses are part of what makes us human and that connects us to the human collective as a whole. We are secure in our convictions and we find ourselves acting in our undeniable truths. This is our heart strength as we run into battle, blade drawn, knowing only that we must stand for who we are because when we do so, we stand for every human being.
Interestingly, this quote is so similar, yet so different from another quote from a movie that I frequently think of.
“We are all the hero in our own story”.
In other words, we see the world from the point of view that we are the good guy and “they” are the bad guy. We are not open to our weaknesses and therefore we are not open to the whole of ourselves.
It is a lonely, fearful place as we stand alone in only our one perspective. It’s a fight/flight response if you will. No thinking, just acting to defend our sense of security. That is where injustice comes from.
“How could they do that?” or “I deserve better.”
We immediately feel the need to share our perspective and set the other straight. The “right” perspective needs to prevail, right?
This has been a long held illusion of mine until very recently. There actually is no right or wrong. There is only perspective. If we could embrace our “weaknesses” then we could also embrace the perspectives of others.
This is where "seeing" ourselves as the hero and "being" the hero come into play. "Seeing" implies that we are attaching a meaning to an event based on our past experience alone, for the purpose of short-term, self-preservation. In this primal mode of self-preservation, we stand alone simply to survive.
It’s effects are meant to be short term so that we may flee the bear chasing us. Of course, in the 21st century, there is no bear chasing us in our everyday life, but the stress response is the same and thus our results often come up short.
"Being" is observing the situation from another’s point of view in addition to your own. It comes from a position of curiosity and compassion. In this space, there is no room for fear. When we do this, we are thinking with our critical minds and not just engaging an old subconscious program. In this state of mind, there is no blame, shame, or guilt. It is insight. With insight, we see the equal value of our strengths and weaknesses. We want to live, not just survive.
Experiencing all the potential of the human experience in this way has limitless potential of fulfillment. If you need a good example of being a hero, look at Madeline. If you want a good example of someone who sees themselves as a hero, that would be more like me.
I’m getting better every day at being the hero like my daughter. I say that with no shame or blame because those are my weaknesses and I embrace them now. Maddy embraces all of who she is no matter how much people hate on her with ignorance or fear.
She acknowledges that this is their perception and then she shares hers unapologetically. She wants their acceptance and inclusion just as much as others do but she never compromises it even when that acceptance is threatened by not going with the flow of the voices around her. She is always true to compassion, truth, inclusiveness, freedom, and wholeness.
No one can take that from her. That’s why she’s the one you want going into battle with. So, I’m doing what I can every day to be the hero in my life by opening up to the whole of myself and others so that I too can be my own hero.
